WORRY OR ANXIETY: HOW DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?

Everyone worries. If you didn't worry at all, that would be more concerning than worrying too much. Worry is part of being human — it keeps us paying the bills on time, checking in on ageing parents, making sure the kids got home safely. In small doses, it's useful. It's your brain doing its job. But there's a point where worry stops being useful and starts running the show. And a lot of people have been living on the wrong side of that line for so long they've forgotten what the other side felt like. Here's how to tell the difference. Worry tends to have an object. You're worried about a specific thing — the test results, the job interview, whether you said the wrong thing at the Christmas party. It's uncomfortable, but it passes. Once the thing resolves, the worry moves on with it.

Anxiety is different. Anxiety is worry that has cut loose from its anchor. It's the feeling of dread that's there when you wake up before you've even remembered what you're dreading. It's lying awake at 3am cycling through a list of things that may never happen. It's cancelling plans you actually wanted to go to because something just felt too much. It's snapping at the people you love and not fully knowing why. It's being grand on the outside and exhausted on the inside.

A lot of people might not say “I have anxiety", but they might say “I don't know what's wrong with me" or "I've always been a worrier" or "I think I'm just not able for things the way other people are." They've been managing it quietly for years — sometimes decades — and it has become so familiar it feels like personality rather than a problem. It isn't a personality flaw. It's a pattern. And patterns can change. Anxiety is one of the most common and also one of the most misunderstood experiences there is. Partly because it so rarely looks the way people expect. It isn't always visible. It doesn't always announce itself. Sometimes it just looks like someone who is very busy, very capable, and absolutely fine. If something in this felt familiar, you're not alone and you're not broken.

Understanding what's actually happening is usually the first step to things feeling different. And that starts simply — with being willing to name it.

Deirdre Ryan (MIACP) is a Psychotherapist and Clinical Director of Tipperary Counselling Service. She can be contacted at www.tipperarycounsellingservice.ie 0868918075